Why Many Christians are in the church but unhappy

          For many years I have been truly perplexed about something. I have been watching people go in and out the church doors for years yet still they are unhappy. These people are at the church whenever the doors are open. They are in the choir, children’s ministry, greeter’s ministry, mother board, elder board, deacon board, heck ministers and licensed Reverends. These folks can quote the bible word for word and praise on demand! All this activity at the church yet they seem to be the most bitter, black hearted, judgmental, unhappy folks you would ever what to meet. The saddest part about it is most of them don’t even realize that they are this way. Well some might but are in denial. Don’t sit there are act like you have no idea what I am talking about. I am pretty sure while you are reading this you have certain folks in mind. No shade, just truth!

                Today while I was reading a book by Iyanla Vanzant I finally got a revelation about why these people are this way. She was speaking about her grandmother who was like one of the above mentioned people. She said “She had a relationship with religion rather than a relationship with the spirit of God.” Talk about a newsflash! I had never thought about the fact that these people could be in a relationship with religion and NOT GOD!!! These folks have a relationship with being busy and doing work for the “church”. They had somehow along the way either never developed a relationship with God or they lost it. A sure way to know if people are in a relationship with religion and not God is that their church doesn’t grow…I will get to why it doesn’t grow in a bit.

                To keep it 100 a person cannot have a relationship with God and continue to behave ungodly. We are all far from Jesus but he can and will change you if you let him. Some of the people in a relationship with religion go to church so they can feel like they have done their duty to God and go on about their normal unhappy lives. But many of them go to church and do work of the “Lord” solely based on ego. They want to have an impressive relationship with the church. They want the title or the recognition. They take on a million task and then walk around angry and full of resentment. Instead of checking in with the spirit of God for where they should be serving they allowed ego to choose for them. Then they wonder why they have no joy. They have no joy because God was not in it from the start. Where the spirit of God dwells there is JOY. Therefore if you can’t find joy in the things you are doing, it is highly likely God simply isn’t in it. The real question is why are you? But that’s another blog all together.

                As Christians we have to remember that WE represent Christ and Christianity. If we walk around unhappy, bitter, gossiping and downright hateful, why in the world would someone be interested in this Christ we serve? They would assume that Christ hasn’t done too well by us so what could he possibly do for them. (This ladies and gentlemen and why the church isn’t growing) We can’t blame them for having these thoughts if this is the life that we show them. So as a follower of Christ we have to be a lover of God and his Spirit. We have to get into relationship with them! Like any other relationship we have to spend time and truly get to know God’s nature. We have to get still and not just read the word but get a revelation of the word in our heart. Once this happens no matter what is going on in your life you will remain joyful. You will continue to keep your smile. You will only be involved in ministries that give you joy, because God will be in it. Once you are in a relationship with the Spirit of God everything you touch will be blessed!

 I would hate for our time to come to an end in this world and God say “I never knew you!” What a shame that would be! To be doing all this work for the church and religion but never truly KNOW GOD. So if you find that you are one of these people or know some these people take the time to pray for them/you. Pray that you get into a relationship with the spirit of God and not a relationship with religion.

Further Study: Matthew 7:19-23

So I accept it: When your healing doesn't come when you think it should!

So as many of you know I have been battling an illness for close to ten years. Each year it seems the illness gets worse and worse. Due to my illness I have had to leave four jobs in one year! This illness has gone from illness to disability. I know it’s crazy. Over the years I have had many people pray for my deliverance and it has yet to happen. I don’t mean just anyone praying I mean some serious prayer warriors have prayed, laid hands, anointing me with oil, you name it they did it! But to no avail I have still been suffering with this illness. For months I just could not figure out for the life of me why God was allowing this to happen to me. I mean I know I am not perfect but give me a break God! God had been giving me clues as to why he wouldn’t let my illness leave me but it didn’t become clear until I changed my prayer. I finally got serious and said a God “either heal me or make it plain!” He made it plain.

Yesterday as I was studying my word I came upon the story of Jacob wrestling with God (or an angel depending on how you see it) (Genesis 32:22-32). Basically Jacob wanted God to bless in with favor with his brother Esau so he was fighting with God to get his blessing. Not just any fighting I mean ALL NIGHT LONG! In the process God touched his hip and put it out of the socket. God finally blessed Jacob so they stopped fighting but from then on Jacob walked with a limp. Due to my illness I have weakness on my right side and many times I walk with a limp. Never had I thought that my limp or illness was a direct result of me fighting for a blessing! My illness started when I had my beautiful daughter. It was a fight to get her here and healthy. I was on bed rest, high risk and many trips to the hospital. This was some serious all night fighting! With all of that she is here and healthy! She hardly is ever sick and deals with very little health issues.  As for me I walk with a limp (LOL).

But wait there is more! This morning while on my patio I was studying on Paul’s thorn in his side (2 Corinthians 12:7-10 gnb). Paul shares that to keep him from being prideful and relying on him God provided a thorn (painful physical ailment) in his body. Paul clearly was a quick learner because he only prayed three times and heard God's answer. As for me I had to pray hundreds of times before I could hear or accept the answer. God said to Paul “My grace is all you need, for my power is greatest when you are weak.” Paul went on to say “I am most happy, then, to be proud of my weaknesses, in order to feel the protection of Christ’s power over me. I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions and difficulties for Christ’s sake.” Talk about a wake-up call! I think we all are very clear on the God grace being all we need but what we are not clear on is being happy and proud of our weaknesses!

In this world we are taught that weakness is a bad thing. We are taught to hide our disabilities and be sad that we are dealing with them. Never in my life have I been happy about a physical aliment until today. Today I accept that I am indeed disabled. My body does not work like everyone else’s and I have to pick and choose what I do. I have to press through the pain when I can and have a seat when I can’t. I have learned that I should be happy that I am dealing with a “thorn” because that means God’s power and protection surrounds me! I have extra special power! I also learned that I no longer need to “suffer” through my disability I need to live with JOY.

So from now on if you are praying for me don’t just pray for my healing. Pray that I may be happy with my illness and be able to function in God’s will while being ill. Pray my strength in the Lord to endure my weakness being proud and content. God may never heal me on this side of life but that’s ok and I accept it.

Telling the Truth with Love

In life we have many opportunities to share the truth with someone. The “truth” can be a very sticky situation. You have to make sure that the truth you are sharing is actually the truth and not your personal opinion or judgment. Also I know many people say things like “the truth will set you free” and “tell the truth and shame the devil.” But have you ever considered how you share the truth? When sharing the truth you have to do it from a place of love. You also have to deliver the truth in the matter in which you want to receive it. I remember in the movie “Ray” Ray’s record executive told him that he had some news to share with his and didn’t want him to take it wrong. Ray Charles’ response was “well give it to me right then.” When sharing with people you have to give it to them right!

 I know it is very easy for us to sit on our high horse and want to give the person “the truth” but you must think and chose your words carefully. If you deliver the truth in a harsh and brash manner the person will not receive it. When the person doesn’t receive it, it will leave them upset and you in your feelings because they are not “listening” to you. 

For example, you may think that your friend’s spouse is being unfaithful and they should leave them. But you can’t approach a person like that. You have to remember first and foremost they are a human being with feelings. They likely love their significant other and have no desire to discuss their failures, let alone your opinions about them. It is likely that they already know the very things you are talking about but is ignoring it. The quickest way to upset a person and send them into denial is to tell them the truth they already know and refuse to believe. (Ever heard a hit dog howls?)

Thus you have to go to them by saying that you love them and care about their happiness. You see that they have not been happy and you are concerned about the treatment they are receiving from their mate. From that point they can either shut down and you say ok. Or she can open up a dialogue about your concerns and maybe get to place of understanding.  You have to stop and think if someone was to tell you this information how would you want them to do it? Would you want someone going off about your mate and listing their wrongs with a negative attitude? I will answer that for you…nope you wouldn’t and would likely snap. In this life the last thing the human ego wants is to be wrong and many times giving the “truth” without love makes a person feel wrong. If they feel wrong they will attack and defend themselves against their perceived enemy which then turns out to be you!

We must also remember when sharing the truth you have to make sure that the person is even ready to receive the truth. The best way to gage this is by prayer. God will let you know when to speak and how to speak. If you jump out without God’s guidance you might find yourself short a friend or family member. Sometimes you have to love a person into being ready to receive the truth, which will require a commitment on your part. You will have to keep being there, being supportive and patient until you find that God ordained time to share the truth. When you share the truth at the right time, with the right words from a place of love is when truth really sets someone free and shames the devil.

 Prayer to share truth: Father God, I come to you humbly asking for you to not see me but see my heart. I have some hard truths that I feel I need to share with someone. Lord if it is your will please let your Holy Spirit rule my mouth in agenda and let me give the truth from a place of love and at the proper time. Prepare the persons heart to receive my words knowing that they flow from you and love. Lord if what I am going to share isn’t the truth or should not be shared at this time make me aware and corrected me oh loving father. In Jesus name, Amen.

Spirtual Bases:

2 Timothy 2:24-25:

“And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to knowledge of the truth.”

Gleanings from the Writings of Bahá'u'lláh CXXXII, pp. 287-289:

“If ye be aware of a certain truth, if ye possess a jewel, of which others are deprived, share it with them in a language of utmost kindliness and good-will. If it be accepted, if it fulfil its purpose, your object is attained. If any one should refuse it, leave him unto himself, and beseech God to guide him. Beware lest ye deal unkindly with him.