I have to admit today has been a trying day for me over all. I woke up just fine but things slowly started turning south. First my child turned off her listening ears and decided to do her own thing. But I got over that and got her to school. Then I was going to Starbucks and totally turned into the wrong drive but I recovered from that. Next I went and parked in my parking space and decided to spend some time with God. I shared with God that I felt overwhelmed and detached. Then I read some word and started feeling better. So hi ho hi ho into work I go! The very first customer I helped was a BEAR. I was telling her just what she wanted to hear but she wasn’t taking the time to listen. Finally I was able to get us on the same page. In the end she was happy and I was able to recover my peace. But next something happened that took a bit for me to recover from.
Thru the door walks an older woman with equipment that she needs help with. My co-worker was talking on the phone so I politely said hello. She continued to walk so I assumed she didn’t hear me. So again I smiled and repeated "hello, how can I help you today." Once more, she stood there as if she could not hear me. So for a third time I raised my voice and said "hello". At this time my co-worker is wrapping up her conversation on the phone. The customer looks right at me as to acknowledge that I was speaking and went to my co-worker. As this is occurring, I was trying to remember if I knew the lady or if we had some sort of exchange in the past. From what I can recall we didn’t and I never forget someone who I was upset with lol. My co-worker did not know the lady and had never had any interaction with the customer. The only difference between my co-worker and I is she is a white woman and I am a black woman.
Normally I am not the one to call racism but today it was very clear that the woman did not want to come to me because I was black. There wasn’t any other reason why she wouldn’t come to me. My co-worker looked at me with a strange look when the woman silently refused my help. From the look on my co-workers face she too knew the reason why the lady was not interested in getting my help. I have had other customers who also would not allow me to do my job because I was black. Or worse they did not come to me because I am the "double negative" a black woman! But normally I am not affected by their ignorance. I accept it and move on, not so much today!
After sitting there feeling wounded, emotional and rejected for a few minutes I decided it was time to pray and learn something from this experience. As I was praying and affirming the truth about myself and who God created me to be, God intercepted. I could clearly hear the spirit say "You are right, the woman is racist but that is not your problem. The lesson I want you to learn is that everyone is not going to believe you are great. Some people no matter how great you are will judge you and assume things about you based on your looks or who you used to be. You must KNOW who and WHO’S you are. Also some people are not going to want your help. Yes, you may be qualified to help them and be willing, but they don’t want your help. Don’t get upset, save your skills and time to people who WANT THEM."
Talk about a glass of cold water in your face! But God was 100% correct. There are days when I doubt myself and my skills. On these days I allow how other people feel and think bother me. When in reality I need to remember that I am a child of God. God created me in his imagine and likeness. He said that I am fearfully and wonderfully made! He said that I am "very good". So no matter what people think about me that does not change who I am, that speaks on who they are! People rejected Jesus and I am not different. I just must learn that no matter what I AM GREAT, PERIOD! I must also learn that I can’t allow my emotions to be moved based on other people and certainly not a stranger!
I can say that I have grown a lot. The old me would have spent the rest of the day feeling sorry for myself. Instead I decided to seek counsel! I did however go on to waste water all over my co-workers desk and remember that I forgot my lunch at home LOL. Gratefully my co-worker dried his desk and my hunny gave me money for lunch J .
Anyway, just remember people will be people. Pray for them and yourself. Focus on what you can learn and change instead of wasting time on people who you simply can’t change anyway!
